I’ve had a secret blog for over ten years. It’s not totally secret, but if you don’t know about it already, you’re probably not going to find out. I can say anything on that blog, and because I have said anything in an interactive forum where people have listened and questioned me and related to me and supported me, I’ve learned to accept parts of myself I never thought I could. I’ve learned to own my own words and the self they represent, not to be embarrassed of shit I wrote there when I was 22 because it was necessary for me to write what I wrote then in order to write what I’m writing now. For me, blogging isn’t just a way of recording the past; it’s a tool for moving forward. It’s one of three things I’ve experienced in my adult life that has changed my life.

For a long time, I wanted to open up that space, to have a way of sharing the important things that happen there with everyone, not just a select few people. Also a few years ago, I did a radical thing, which was to delete my Facebook account. In a way, I created my second, public blog as a way of going rogue from Fb. I don’t have a problem with social networking or curating the self (actually, I love those things); I just want to do them more thoughtfully and without feeling like I’m being exploited.